Thursday, April 4, 2013

on & off

IT HAS BEEN A FEW MONTHS SINCE I POSTED AND MY POSTS HAVE KIND OF BEEN ALL OVER THE PLACE. I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT. IT MAY NOT BE FRUSTRATING FOR YOU GUYS BUT IT IS FOR ME. I HAVE BEEN (YOU GUESSED IT!) SICK.  HOWEVER, THIS TIME IT IS FOR A COMPLETELY HAPPY & DIFFERENT REASON. LET'S START WITH SOME THINGS YOU MAY NOT  KNOW ABOUT ME:

1- I AM 26. I AM TOLD I LOOK YOUNGER. BEING SO SHORT AND SO THIN, I
TEND TO LOOK LIKE A LITTLE GIRL MOST OF THE TIME. 

2- I AM MARRIED. I HAVE KNWON MY HUSBAND SINCE I WAS 18. HE IS THE FIRST GUY I EVER DATED, AND SINCE I MARRIED HIM, THE ONLY GUY. 

3- I AM 11 WEEKS PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD. 

YUP, YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. THE FIRST TRIMESTER HAS KICKED MY BUTT. I WAS SO SICK AND SSSOOOOO VERY FATIGUED. I DIDN'T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GET OUT OF BED. IT IS JUST RECENTLY THAT I HAVE REGAINED SOME OF MY ENERGY AND HAVE BEEN FEELING MORE LIKE MYSELF.  
YOU KNOW HOW THE MOVIES ALWAYS TALK ABOUT A 'PREGNANCY GLOW' BULLCRAP, I SAY! AT LEAST FOR ME AND AT LEAST FOR THE FIRST WEEKS. I FELT LIKE I HAD BEEN RAN OVER BY A CAR AND THEN REVERSED ON. I KEPT EXPECTING MY BABY TO BURST PREMATURELY THROUGH MY ABDOMEN LEAVING MY DEAD CARCUS ON THE GROUND LIKE SOME SCENE OUT OF ALIEN. I FELT THAT POORLY. 

BEING A MOM IS NOT SOMETHING I EVER CONSIDERED OR ABSOLUTELY NEEDED TO BE. SOME WOMEN KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT THEY WANT TO BE A MOM, I WASN'T ONE OF THOSE WOMEN. I KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT I WANTED A SUCCESSFUL CAREER, THAT IS ALL I KNEW. SO THROUGHOUT THIS THERE HAS BEEN MOMENTS OF TERROR "HOLY CRAP, I AM GOING TO BE A MOM?? CAN I DO THIS??", MOMENTS OF JOY ' HOLY CRAP, I AM GOING TO BE A MOM! I CAN DO THIS!" AND MOMENTS OF DISBELIEF "HOLY CRAP, AM I REALLY GOING TO BE A MOM? IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?" DESPITE THIS NEVER BEING APART OF MY 'GRAND PLAN' (AS THEY SAY: AS WE PLAN, THE GODS LAUGH) I FIND MYSELF LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING THIS LITTLE PERSON, THIS LITTLE MIXED OF BIT OF MY HUSBAND AND ME, AND DESPITE MY FEARS I KNOW THIS WILL BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT I MAY HAVE NEVER PLANNED FOR BUT I WILL NEVER WANT UNDONE.  IT IS A JOURNEY I AM GOING TO EMBRACE.

I AM ALREADY PLANNING ON ALL THE CHILDREN'S BOOKS I WANT TO PURCHASE. DID YOU HAVE ANY FAVORITES AS A CHILD?

I HAVE BEEN LUCKY, MOST OF CLOTHING WERE ORIGINALLY TOO LARGE ON ME. SO NOW AS I GROW THEY ARE FITTING PERFECTLY HA HA. OR ELSE I WOULD HAVE HAD TO BUY MORE CLOTHES BY NOW.

HEELS, SKORT, PURSE- ZARA/BODY SUIT- FOREVER 21/ SUNNIES-ASOS


THIS BLOG WILL MOST LIKELY BE CHANGING, HOW, I AM NOT SURE YET. SINCE IT IS A REFLECTION OF ME, IT CHANGES AS I CHANGE AND SURE, NOT ALWAYS GRACEFULLY. HOPE YOU GUYS ARE DOWN FOR THE RIDE, EVERY CHANGE IS MEANT TO BE A STEP FORWARD, AN IMPROVEMENT. A STEP CLOSER OT BE A MORE ACCURATE REFLECTION OF ME AND MY PERSONALITY AND HOPEFULLY MORE AND MORE HONEST AND 'REAL'. 


P.S.- LISTED SOME NEW ITEMS IN THE 'SHOP'

10 comments:

  1. wow. congratulations on the amazing news...so sad that you've been ill. crazy how women experience different things during pregnancy. hopefully you'll keep us up-to-date with the journey.
    love
    xx

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  2. I'm so glad you're back. I love that you kept it real about all your mixed emotions surrounding pregnancy. So many people our age become pregnant and all you hear is, "I'm so excited!" But you included all the other stuff like doubt and worry and fear and it made you so real. You look great btw! (Like you ever look bad) Congratulations to you and your hubs!
    PS: The boobs! <-- sorry I had to mention. :)

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    Replies
    1. lmao!!! I know I actually have boobs now!It's kind of weird, I had gotten used to barely having any, they still aren't that big but they are a lot larger than I have ever had! lol

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  3. This is actually my favorite post for being so personal. Congratulations mommy and keep updating. :)

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  4. OMG Congratulations <3 :D

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  5. OMG Congratulations (soon to be) mummy :D <3




    pseudocommepluto.blogspot.co.uk

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  6. Wow congratulations!

    Well you're going to be a stylish mum!

    Modeliste

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  7. Chanced upon your blog and enjoy reading it! (:
    I'm having a giveaway now btw! come visit my blog! <3

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  8. Super cute outfit, love the skirt!

    Christine
    www.trendenvy.com

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